Our Fallibility as Leaders

Some time back I was reminded about a crucial attribute that all seasoned leaders possess.  What surprised me was that it didn't come from what I do in my work life, it came from an interaction I had with my then 15-year-old son. 

Sparing you some of the gory details, we had a situation where my son and I had to have some "man talk" where I expressed some displeasure with his behavior.  It wasn't pretty and was very uncomfortable for him and not at all pleasant for me.  Given that I took some huge withdrawals from the emotional bank account with him I recognized that I needed to have a more grounded follow-up discussion with him the next day.  

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After he came home from school the next day he and I had a good little chat about how to avoid interactions like we had the night before.  I also told him that when I was his age I was four times as mischievous as he was and that he is a better kid than I ever was.  It is a huge morale boost for him to hear that his Dad has screwed up in the past. It helps him to see that I am human, I have my faults, and that he easily can live up to my standards as set by example.  I've told him things I haven't spoken of in years. I went into detail of some of the things I did growing up and how I was ashamed to admit to him that I did such deeds as a young man.  It was great for both of us and he appreciated me being so transparent with him.

This interaction reminds me of our role as leaders.  The best, most seasoned leaders I know aren't afraid to share their warts and show themselves as leaders who have learned not only from their successes but also their failures.

Those leaders who demonstrate that they are fallible and can courageously share when they've bungled it are the leaders that garner the greatest respect from their teams.  Those who are afraid to bare their souls and tell of their screw-ups don't demonstrate courage, which is vital to any leader's credibility. 

Use your successes and failures to help your teams learn from you and to model courage.  Your teams will respect you immensely and be much more likely to follow your lead.

Lonnie Pacelli
Keynote Speaker | Board Director | Autism Advocate | Author | Project Management Expert | Microsoft/Accenture Veteran 
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