One day, my wife Patty and I were eating lunch when she said, “I’ve been seeing some social media posts about mental load; have you ever heard of it?”

“No,” I answered, wondering if I’ve been missing out.

She then told me more about what she’s seen and its impact on people. Intrigued by the term and her explanation, I decided to do a bit more research on mental load. Here’s a little of what I learned from healthline.com:

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One of my favorite family movies is Mary Poppins. My grown kids will still tell you that my favorite part was watching Dick Van Dyke’s character Bert dance with the animated penguins. (Even as I type this, I have a smile on my face just thinking about his facial expressions as he flopped around in his sagging pants.)

 Aside from Van Dyke’s talent as a dancer, there was something else about Bert’s character that interested me: Bert was a one-man band, chalk artist, chimney sweep, and kite salesperson. The jobs had little in common other than the fact that Bert had skills that enabled him to perform each job.

While Bert may have been happy doing each of the jobs, it doesn’t appear on the surface that there was any intentionality to his job choices. Having a wayward approach to career changes worked great in the movie, but it might not work so well in your professional life.

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Recently I wrote an article about creating a sustained lifestyle. In the article I introduced a concept which contrasts achievement (doing something meaningful that accomplishes a desired result which gives you joy) and stress (the degree of mental, physical, or emotional strain undertaken to achieve a desired result). In the model I define four different lifestyles driven by achievements and stress, as follows:

In 2004, I left Microsoft so Patty and I could homeschool our son Trevor. He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at age five, and we decided as he was entering seventh grade that he would need more help than what his public school could offer. I was his math and science teacher for two years until he re-entered public school in ninth grade. After my homeschooling stint, I decided to focus on writing and consulting, and later Patty and I starting a publishing business. From that point until now, I have regularly been asked if I’m “retired.” At first, I would respond with a strong “no” due to my opinion that retirees spend their days on the golf course or playing bridge. Over time, though, I recognized I had to come up with a better description of what I do as a profession. It’s not a choice of either the golf course or the 8-to-5 grind. For me, it’s something I call sustained lifestyle.

So, what’s sustained lifestyle? Here’s the definition, then we’ll unpack it:

This one is a bit of a departure from my typical article topics.

Recently I wrote a book about what I call “good-enough contentment.” It’s an allegory about a forty-something man who is unhappy with his life. After a magical train ride, he learns to define what contentment means in nine areas of his life: career, family, health, friendships, finances, leisure, spirituality, giving, and legacy. Writing the story caused me to look back at my own life--the things I did well and the many mistakes I made. It inspired me to write about nine nuggets that I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self. Some I would have done the same all over again, others radically different. All, however, are worth putting down in writing to spur your thinking about things you need to start, stop, or continue.

Here they are:  

In Behind Gold Doors-Nine Crucial Elements to Achieve Good-Enough Contentment I discuss how to achieve what I term "good-enough" contentment in your life. The book is a story about Ty, who seemed to have it all, then one day it all changed. At the end of his rope, Ty had a chance encounter with a quirky old woman who brought him on a journey to discover the nine crucial elements of good-enough contentment and helped him put a plan in place to fill his contentment gaps. His outlook on life changed forever as a result of him thinking through each of the contentment areas, re-aligning his expectations to think in terms of good-enough, and creating a prioritized plan to work towards good-enough contentment. If you haven't read the book yet I recommend you pick it up :-).

What's good-enough contentment? Good-enough contentment is about intentionally looking at nine different elements in your life, deciding how important each is to you, what good-enough contentment looks like, and what you need to do to achieve good-enough contentment.

The nine good-enough contentment elements:

1. Career Contentment
   
2. Family Contentment
   
3. Health Contentment
   
4. Friendship Contentment
   
5. Financial Contentment
   
6. Leisure Contentment
   
7. Spiritual Contentment
   
8. Giving Contentment
   
9. Legacy Contentment
   

Are you diving or merely surviving as a leader when it comes to good-enough contentment? See how a mystical train ride to Chicago teaches Ty about good-enough contentment in Behind Gold Doors-Nine Crucial Elements to Achieve Good-Enough Contentment.