I remember my first position as a manager, selling clothes in a department store to work my way through college. One of my colleagues, who I’ll call Jay, was also a good friend. We ran together, went to movies, and overall had a great time.

After I got promoted and became his boss, we still did some things together—but there was persistent tension in our relationship. He didn’t like the fact that I was his boss and would tell me that he worked for my boss, not me. He then became chummy with another guy who was his peer in another department. This tension existed until I graduated from college and left the department store. Once I wasn’t his boss, the tension lifted.

That was my first experience with the “them” team.

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My name is Lonnie, and I'm a victim of identity theft.

So check this out. A buddy of mine wrote a Facebook post about how someone stole his daughter's Social Security number and filed for unemployment benefits with Washington State's Employment Security Division (ESD). Having never occurred to me, I decided to go to ESD and attempt to file an unemployment claim. After I entered the information I received the following message:

The Social Security number (SSN) you entered already exists and is linked to this partly hidden email address: *****@fasternet.co

About a year ago, I wrote an article called Becoming a Sustainable Project Manager with an accompanying Sustainable PM Assessment. My hope at the time was that readers would understand the four sustainability drivers:

1. Skills
2. Lifestyle
3. Relationships
4. Stewardship

…and develop action plans on how to be more sustainable. To help underscore the importance of being sustainable, here are four stories where, for each person, sustainability wasn’t a priority.

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I am a huge fan of 360-feedback evaluations, a tool in which a participant and their leader, peers and followers evaluate them using a series of structured questions. With the 360 evaluations I’ve gone through, the results were presented to me in terms of how I view myself versus how my leader, peers and followers viewed me.

My first 360 was part of a five-day leadership offsite where survey participants completed the survey prior to the offsite and the results were given to us at the end of the third day. Prior to handing out the evaluation results, I can remember the offsite facilitator saying, “You’re probably going to see some things that will hurt. Take some time to go through the feedback tonight in your hotel room, then let’s talk tomorrow about what you’ll do with it.”

We got the packets with our individual evaluation results. I remember being excited to see the results, expecting to be reaffirmed by how others viewed me as a leader.

Then I opened the packet.

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One Monday morning, Kyle showed up for a status meeting with his project team. Eva, a team member and close friend, noticed a pattern: Kyle looked perpetually exhausted. Concerned, she approached him, “Kyle, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a hectic weekend with kids’ activities and prepping for the exec meeting this week.”

“I certainly understand,” Eva said. “Are you taking time to rest up? I know how demanding your life is right now.”

“I’ve got great work/life balance. It’s just very busy with everything going on,” Kyle said.

“Kyle, you remind me of my father. Always running at 100 miles an hour, thinking that ‘work/life balance’ by default meant rest. That was until he had a heart attack, caused by all the stress of trying to keep up. Rather than deciding to get some rest, the decision was made for him. Work/life balance doesn’t guarantee rest.”

Kyle paused for a moment, reflecting on Eva’s advice. “I hear you.”

“Be careful, I’m concerned about you.” Eva smiled at Kyle and walked back to her desk.

Read more at ProjectManagement.com