As I covered in Part 1 of this series, one of my previous employers utilized a methodology to help its employees assess skill strengths and opportunities for improvement. The methodology contained a broad set of core competencies. My favorite core competency was dealing with ambiguity.

My focus in this series is about how people respond to ambiguity and impact themselves and those around them. It’s not limited to a person’s professional life; ambiguity can manifest itself in virtually any aspect of a person’s life. Those impacted could be colleagues, family, friends, or loved ones.

As a leader, your ability to bring clarity to chaos is one of the single most important skills you can possess.
Part introduced Aaron the Avoider. Now let’s meet Brett the Broadcaster.

“We’ve got to embed AI in everything we do!” Corrie, the CEO, made this announcement at their latest company meeting. “Our competitors are doing it and our customers expect it. If we are going to not just survive but thrive as long-term players, we’ve got to take this seriously. If ever there was an executive mandate, this is it!”

Brett sat in the audience, puzzled. He’d used AI to help him write emails, but that was about as far as he took it. “I’ve got no idea what I’m supposed to do with that,” he thought.

After the company meeting, nearly every discussion between Brett and others included, “I’ve got no idea what Corrie expects us to do!” He rationalized it away as management speak. “The execs don’t really understand what we do; they need to give some concrete actions on what they expect.”

Read more at ProjectManagement.com. 

One of my previous employers utilized a methodology to help its employees assess skill strengths and opportunities for improvement. The methodology contained a broad set of core competencies. My favorite core competency was dealing with ambiguity.

The two operative words in the phrase are dealing and ambiguity. Dictionary.com defines ambiguity as an unclear, indefinite or equivocal word, expression, or meaning. Pretty ironic that the word ambiguity has a clear meaning.
My focus in this series is not only about ambiguity, but about how people respond to ambiguity and impact themselves and those around them. It’s not limited to a person’s professional life; ambiguity can manifest itself in virtually any aspect of a person’s life.

Those impacted could be colleagues, family, friends or loved ones. I believe that, particularly as a leader or project manager, your ability to bring clarity to chaos is one of the single most important skills you can possess. AI can certainly help you think through ambiguous situations, but it takes the leader/PM to confidently and rationally drive that clarity across affected stakeholders.

To that end, I’d like to highlight five ambiguity personas in this series. This will help you identify where your strengths or opportunities lie so you can be better at dealing with ambiguity.

Meet Aaron the Avoider on ProjectManagement.com. 

“I should have spoken up,” Gil said as he took another bite of his burger. He and his wife, Pat, loved going out to their favorite burger joint on Wednesday nights for their two-for-one hamburger specials. Gil told Pat how he had sat through a three-hour meeting where his work team wrestled through a nasty problem. Gil had come up with an idea an hour into the meeting but never spoke up. Someone else came up with the same idea two hours later, which was supported not only by Gil’s boss but the other team members.

“This isn’t the first time,” Pat said. She and Gil had been married for ten years and she knew him inside and out. She not only knew his strengths, but also his weaknesses.

“I know, I just don’t like to monopolize a meeting,” Gil said.

“I think you’ve got a long way to go before that happens,” Pat said as she popped a French fry in her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Gil, you’re one of the smartest men I know. When you do speak up, you typically say something very profound and thoughtful. The issue isn’t speaking up too much, it’s speaking up too little.”

Gil sat there for a moment, thinking about what Pat just said. Pat wiped her mouth with her napkin and continued.

“I went to a class today about something called a wisdom steward. In the class the instructor talked about six different personas; one of them was a wisdom hesitator. As soon as the instructor described the hesitator persona, I thought of you.”

“A wisdom hesitator?”

“That’s right. Now how about we split a tiramisu?”

“Um, sure thing,” Gil said. The server came to the table.

“What’s a wisdom hesitator?” Gil thought to himself as Pat ordered their dessert.

To understand a wisdom hesitator, we need to first understand a wisdom steward. A wisdom steward is balanced in how they seek and share wisdom. They humbly and genuinely seek wisdom to help make sensible decisions. At the same time, a wisdom steward transparently and candidly shares wisdom with others to help them make sensible decisions. The seeker and sharer roles are equally respected and practiced by the wisdom steward with the goal of embracing success for both themselves and others.

Now, on to the wisdom hesitator. The wisdom hesitator may be concerned with success, but he is afraid to express himself out of fear of what others may think about him and his ideas. In team meetings, the hesitator is usually the one who remains quiet and needs to be specifically asked for his input. My experience with hesitators, though, is that they can be incredibly perceptive and contribute valuable perspective to a discussion. I’ve been involved in many meetings where the hesitator, after being prompted, provided a point of view that wasn’t previously expressed and changed the trajectory of a conversation. Typically, it takes a leader who is sensitive to hesitators and draws them into the discussion. Unfortunately, many great ideas never see light of day because the hesitator isn’t willing to express his point of view. When a hesitator doesn’t share his wisdom and something bad happens as a result, everyone loses.
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Are you a wisdom hesitator? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you wait to hear other people’s ideas before sharing your own?
• Do you say nothing because you already agree with what someone else said?
• Are you afraid you won’t state your idea in the best way?
• Do you wait, thinking you’ll later talk to someone one-on-one about it?
• Do you prefer stating your opinion in writing at a later date?
• Do you base your opinions on others’ opinions?
• Do you wait to hear from others before deciding what you think?
• Do you think people won’t listen to you anyway?
• Do you feel rushed, that you need more time to think about how to share your ideas?

Wisdom hesitators can genuinely seek wisdom but need to feel it’s a safe environment before sharing. If this is you, take small steps to more deliberately share wisdom and become a wisdom steward. It will likely be uncomfortable at first, but your ideas deserve to be heard and can make a difference.
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Want to see more? Check out Behind Gold Doors-Five Easy Steps to Become a Wisdom Steward.

“If you do this, you’ll definitely increase revenue,” Mark said. Mark was a brash young consultant out to make a name for himself on his first consulting gig since graduating with an MBA. The client, Paula, was an experienced sales manager. She patiently listened to Mark’s presentation filled with consultant-speak and tired cliches. It was the “definitely increase revenue” claim that got her to chime in.

“Increasing revenue is always a great thing. Tell me, Mark, where have you done this before?” Paula asked.

“Well, our firm has done this with a lot of clients.”

“That may be true, but you’re pitching me on work that you specifically would be doing for us. I’m curious as to where you’ve specifically succeeded with a project like this and your experience with increasing revenue. Where have you done this before?”

Mark stammered for an answer. “I would have a team working with me that has the experience to deliver.”

“Mark, I’ve been around the block a lot and can tell when someone isn’t being up-front with me. You’ve never done a project like this before, have you?”

“Well, yeah; when working on my MBA we did a case study on this. I’m confident I can do the work and deliver results for you, Paula.”

Paula smiled politely. “Very good, Mark; let me think about it, OK?”

“Certainly. Can I call you next week?” Mark asked.

“I’ll be out, but I’ll give you a ring if we decide to pursue further. Thanks, Mark.”

Paula got up from her chair, shook hands with Mark and led him out of the office.

“Sheesh, what a poser,” Paula thought as she walked back to her desk, knowing she would not be calling Mark back.

To understand a wisdom poser, we need to first understand a wisdom steward. A wisdom steward is balanced in how they seek and share wisdom. They humbly and genuinely seek wisdom to help make sensible decisions. At the same time, a wisdom steward transparently and candidly shares wisdom with others to help them make sensible decisions. The seeker and sharer roles are equally respected and practiced by the wisdom steward with the goal of embracing success for both themselves and others.

Now, on to the wisdom poser. The wisdom poser isn’t concerned about embracing success. The poser is concerned more with impressing others. A poser guardedly seeks wisdom without exposing how much they don’t know about a topic. The poser tries to understand enough to dazzle others with their command of the subject matter. Think of this analogy; I can read about a perfect golf swing all day, but I have to put what I’ve learned into practice and hit the links. The poser would profess to be a great golfer because they read about it, not because they have the scorecards to prove it. The poser shares what they think is wisdom, but it’s baseless because there’s no experience to back it up. So, a wisdom poser guardedly seeks without exposing how much they don’t know, and aggressively shares information, trying to pass it off as wisdom.

Are you a wisdom poser? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you find it difficult to admit you’re wrong about something?
• Do you feel the need to contribute even if a topic is unfamiliar to you?
• Do you tend to quote more from what you’ve read versus what you’ve experienced?
• Are you cautious about seeking wisdom out of fear that someone might find out how much you don’t know?
• Do you look for profound things to say around people who have influence over your career?
• Do you try to impress people who have influence over your career by agreeing with that they say?

Wisdom posers guardedly seek wisdom without exposing themselves and aggressively share information passed as wisdom. If this is you, now is the time to make the move from wisdom poser to wisdom steward.

Want to see more? Check out Behind Gold Doors-Five Easy Steps to Become a Wisdom Steward.

Fred was livid with his performance appraisal. He had consistently been a strong project manager in his organization for several years, having received top-of-tier raises and bonuses from Gary, his previous manager. Earlier in the year he was reorganized into a new organization led by Janet, a seasoned and well-respected leader in the company. While Fred’s raise and bonus were respectable, he was not rated in the top tier of the organization. The two sat down to discuss his performance appraisal.

“Janet, this is the first time since working for this company I haven’t gotten an outstanding rating. I delivered everything on time, on budget, and within scope. Gary always gave me an outstanding rating and I did everything this year I’ve done in the past. What gives?”

“I’m glad we’re talking about this, Fred. Do you remember the discussion we had when you first joined my organization?”

“I do,” Fred said. “We talked about needing to be excellent in our delivery.”

“Yes, and what else did we talk about?”

Fred stopped for a minute, trying to remember what Janet was referring to. Janet took his pause as not having an answer.

“Let me help you,” Janet said. “You are one of the most senior project managers in the organization and you have a lot to teach those coming up behind you. I asked you to mentor Gail. She’s an up-and-comer with a lot of potential. She told me you only met once and that the only advice you gave her was to work hard. Do I understand that right?”

“Well, we just couldn’t find convenient times to meet,” Fred stammered.

“Come on, Fred, in six months you couldn’t find time to meet with her? Growing her skills is something I care deeply about, and I wanted you to invest in her. You didn’t do it. Why?”

“Look Janet, you pay me to deliver projects. That’s what I do.”

“Fred, at your level your job is more than delivering projects on your own; it’s also about sharing the wisdom you’ve accumulated over the years to help others deliver on time, on budget, and within scope. Are you concerned that sharing wisdom with other project managers might mean another project manager delivers results and gets rated higher than you?”

Fred sat quietly, stunned by Janet’s insightful question.

“Fred, let me help you with this. I value outstanding delivery across the organization and place a very high value on those who transparently and candidly share their wisdom with others to help everyone be successful. There is no room for wisdom hoarders in my organization. Do you understand?”

“Um, yes,” Fred said. The two continued discussing the rest of Fred’s performance appraisal.

“Good talk, Fred. Please think about wisdom hoarding and how to work on that, OK?”

“OK.” Fred left her office and walked back to his cubicle.

“Am I really a wisdom hoarder?” He thought to himself.

To understand a wisdom hoarder, we need to look at the definition of a wisdom steward. A wisdom steward is balanced in how she seeks and shares wisdom. She humbly and genuinely seeks wisdom to help her make a sensible decision. At the same time, a wisdom steward transparently and candidly shares wisdom with others to help them make sensible decisions. The seeker and sharer roles are equally respected and practiced by the wisdom steward with the goal of embracing success for both herself and others.

Let’s look at the motivations of a wisdom hoarder. The hoarder, like the steward, genuinely and humbly seeks wisdom. The big difference comes with sharing wisdom. While the steward transparently and candidly shares wisdom, the hoarder is guarded in the wisdom he shares. The hoarder uses his wisdom as a competitive advantage over team members he views as threats. The hoarder typically shares wisdom he considers limited in value, keeping the crown jewels for himself. The hoarder doesn’t seek and share to improve himself and others, but he seeks and shares to improve only himself in order to gain a leg up on perceived competition.

Who are the hoarder’s competitors? Certainly there are business competitors in a marketplace where trade, patent, and intellectual property secrets need to be contained. By all means, wisdom needs to be guarded with those entities. The competitors I’m referring to are those on a team who should be working together to help each other be more successful. When a hoarder views team members as competitors, the hoarder’s motivations become divisive.

Are you a wisdom hoarder? Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you selective about who you share wisdom with?
• When sharing wisdom, do you suppress facts that might weaken your competitive advantage with peers?
• Do you seek wisdom in part to help you gain a competitive advantage with peers?
• Do you suppress discussing lessons learned that would make you appear weaker to your peers?
• Do you share wisdom with your boss to make you look stronger than your peers?

Wisdom hoarders genuinely seek wisdom and guardedly share to protect their competitive advantage. If this is you, do some serious introspection to help you transform from wisdom hoarder to wisdom steward.

Want to see more? Check out Behind Gold Doors-Five Easy Steps to Become a Wisdom Steward.

“Thanks for meeting with me today,” Ann said as she sat down with Jim.

“Sure.”

“Jim, I’m starting up a new customer relationship management project and my boss suggested I talk to a couple of other project managers to get some lessons learned.”

“I’m happy to help. First off, on my last project we delivered our intended scope, came in under budget and ahead of schedule.”

“That’s impressive,” Ann said. “How did you do it?”

Jim went on for a about 30 minutes talking about what a success the project was, and how there was a lot Ann could learn from their project.

“That all sounds great,” Ann said. “If you had it to do all over again, would you do anything differently?”

Jim paused for a moment. “Well, our user representative wasn’t pulling his weight.” I would have demanded he be replaced.”

“So your lesson learned is about the user assigned to the project?”

“That’s right.”

“OK, thanks for the time, Jim,” Ann said as she got up and left.

“Something’s not quite right about this,” she thought as she went back to her desk. She decided to interview a couple of the leads on Jim’s project and got a different story. They told her how the project was in chaos from the beginning, how the claims of under-budget and ahead of schedule were only after management granted additional budget and schedule relief due to an unplanned overage and schedule slip, and that none of the leads would work with Jim again.

“What about the user representative not pulling his weight?” Ann asked each of the leads. Each one told her that the user representative was doing what was asked of her, but Jim used her as an excuse for his overage and schedule slip.

Ann compiled the list of lessons learned after completing her interviews. The last one on the list she didn’t expect to write: “Be transparent and candid about the project even if it reflects negatively on me.”

To understand a wisdom boaster, let’s revisit the definition of a wisdom steward. A wisdom steward is balanced in how she seeks and shares wisdom. A wisdom steward humbly and genuinely seeks wisdom to help her make a sensible decision. At the same time, a wisdom steward transparently and candidly shares wisdom with others to help them make sensible decisions. The seeker and sharer roles are equally respected and practiced by the wisdom steward with the goal of embracing success for both herself and others.

Now let’s look at the motivations of a wisdom boaster. The boaster may possess wisdom, but the motivation isn’t about helping others; it’s about proving superiority. The boaster uses what he knows (or thinks he knows) to demonstrate to others that his point of view reigns. When seeking wisdom, the boaster may already have a plan of action decided on a particular topic and he uses others to prove his way is the best. The boaster is typically inflexible when it comes to changing his point of view. When sharing wisdom, the boaster loves to talk about his successes. He may over-emphasize the positive to support his superiority and omit facts that threaten it. To the boaster, it’s not about seeking and sharing to improve himself and others; it’s about seeking and sharing to validate he’s the smartest one in the room.

Are you a wisdom boaster? Ask yourself these questions:

• Is your mind already made up on something before you seek wisdom from others?
• Are people reluctant to share wisdom with you, yet they are typically open to sharing with others?
• Are people reluctant to ask for your wisdom even if you possess wisdom on a given topic?
• Do you rarely or never accept wisdom shared with you?
• Could some of your past failures have been avoided if you would have accepted shared wisdom?

Wisdom boasters seek and share wisdom to demonstrate superiority to others. Take note of these examples and tips to make sure you are not a wisdom boaster and keep working on becoming a wisdom steward.

Brent was having a routine one-on-one with his boss Gail in her office. Over the six months since joining her organization, Brent noticed something different about Gail compared to his past bosses.

“Gail, can I ask you a question?” Brent asked.

“Certainly.”

“When you share your wisdom with others you are so transparent, even willing to admit when you were wrong about something. That’s very different from other bosses I’ve had. How did you get there?”

“Good question,” she said. “I learned a long time ago that wisdom is extremely valuable. Seeking and sharing it can make the difference between success and failure. Because I deeply care about not only my success but the success of others, I decided I needed to be willing to not just seek wisdom from others but candidly share my wisdom with others to improve their chances of success. I adopted what I call a wisdom steward mindset.”

“Wisdom steward?” he asked.

“Yes,” Gail said just as her phone beeped. She looked at the message. “Darn, I need to prep something for the board meeting in an hour. Can we continue the wisdom steward discussion at our one-on-one next week?”

“Sure,” Brent said.

“OK, see you later then.”

Brent got up and went back to his cubicle. “A wisdom steward?” he thought to himself as he sat in his chair.

So, what is a wisdom steward? To understand the concept you first have to understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is facts and information learned through a number of sources. You can gain knowledge from a book, a discussion, the news, or personal experience. Wisdom is what you do with that knowledge. You can’t have wisdom without knowledge, but you can certainly have knowledge without wisdom.

Let’s look at touching a hot stove as an example. If you touch a hot stove, you gain the knowledge that it is hot and touching it will burn your hand. Wisdom is making a sensible decision based on the knowledge that the stove burns. Not touching the stove a second time means you’re applying wisdom to knowledge. If you do touch the stove and get burned again, you didn’t apply wisdom to the knowledge you had. So, knowledge is knowing the stove is hot; wisdom is deciding to not touch it.

Next let’s talk about how wisdom is acquired. Wisdom can be gained through first-hand experience or guided experience. First-hand experience is the stove example. Guided experience is gained through learning from others. Bill told me he touched the hot stove and burned his hand, so I won’t touch the hot stove. You gained wisdom not because you did something first-hand; you learned from someone else’s experience. In both cases you made a wise choice not to touch the stove, but in one you learned on your own and the other you learned from someone else.

Now let’s dig into how this relates to wisdom stewardship. For guided wisdom to work there must be two engaged parties. The first is the wisdom seeker. A wisdom seeker is humble and genuinely looks to gain wisdom from others to help him or her make a sensible decision. The second is the wisdom sharer. A wisdom sharer is transparent and candidly offers wisdom gained either first-hand or learned from others to help the seeker make a sensible decision. A wisdom steward is someone who values both genuinely seeking and transparently sharing wisdom. 

Are you a wisdom steward? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
• When faced with a problem, do you genuinely and humbly seek out those who possess the wisdom to help you through the problem?
• When you seek wisdom, do you seek with the intent to learn from others, or to prove others wrong?
• Do you make yourself approachable to others who wish to learn from your wisdom?
• When someone wants to learn from your wisdom, are you transparent and candid in your sharing, even if it means admitting mistakes?
• Do you care about embracing mutual success, or are you in it for yourself?
• Do you view wisdom as something that is valuable and deserves to be treated with care and respect?

If you’re not a wisdom steward, then you might be a wisdom boaster, hoarder, poser, hesitator, or pontificator. Check out the posts on each of those five personas to see if any of them fit you.

Want to see more? Check out Behind Gold Doors-Five Easy Steps to Become a Wisdom Steward.

This is part two of How an Autistic Child has Changed a Career…For the Better

In 2006 I wrote of Patty’s and my decision to homeschool our son Trevor to help provide a learning environment more conducive with his autism. It’s now twelve years later and time to write about how things worked out.

Trevor started seventh grade with a customized schooling plan. Patty focused on arts and language and I focused on math and science. He also attended a homeschool-assisted school which provided English and math classes and attended a science class at the middle school he would have normally attended. The curriculum plan was designed by Patty and me along with Trevor’s school counselor. It was a hybrid of homeschooling and traditional schooling which we felt gave Trevor the best likelihood of success. Trevor’s counselor was completely awesome in working with us and putting Trevor’s well-being first. The blended teaching worked very well in seventh grade, but we also noticed that Trevor wasn’t getting enough peer socialization. In eighth grade we decided to start the process of mainstreaming him back into the public-school system. Patty continued focus on arts and language and math and science topics were now being provided by Trevor’s middle school. I like to joke that I was fired as a homeschool teacher and that my wife and son did the firing. In reality the mainstreaming was the right answer because it allowed him to get needed socialization through spending more time at school while also giving him some additional 1:1 focus through homeschooling. In ninth grade we felt Trevor was ready to be fully mainstreamed into the public-school system. While we packed up our homeschool materials, our involvement with Trevor’s schooling and socialization growth was still strong.

Trevor graduated from high school in 2011 with plans to go to college. Feeling that the jump from high school to a large university would be too drastic for him, he attended a local junior college for two years while living at home. He had developed a love for movies and photography, so he decided to major in film studies with an emphasis in photography. These two years were foundational for Trevor’s growth in that he continued to progress academically while also allowing him to work on socialization and adaptation skills. In his sophomore year he decided he wanted to transfer to a four-year university majoring in film and media studies. His decision on where to go was an outstanding example of decision making through empirical data analysis and pros/cons articulation. He developed a visibility board with a number of decision criteria including offering of major, closeness of family, and church offerings. He narrowed his choice down to two colleges, Central Washington University and Arizona State University, both of which meant he would be living away from home. He ultimately decided on Arizona State, comfortable through his analysis that this was the best option. It was also during this time that Trevor wrote about his experiences growing up with autism in Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic.

In August 2013 we took Trevor to the ASU Tempe campus, helped him set up his dorm room, and left him to start his junior year of college. While it was a bit unnerving being a thousand miles away from him, we had peace in knowing there were a number of family members in the area including Trevor’s big sister Briana who was now a nurse in nearby Scottsdale. His last two years of school were those of tremendous growth. He had to figure out a lot of things on his own, make new friends, and be responsible for his own studies. Fortunately, he plugged into a church group that was walking distance from ASU. He fit in like a glove and the church group was a high point of his time at ASU. He got to experience living and dealing with roommates, most of which he felt were too immature for him. We got several problem calls when he lost his wallet, had computer problems, or was having difficulty coping with some situations. He graduated from ASU in December 2015 Cum Laude with a degree in Film & Media Studies.

His post-college life was filled with a lot of anxiety. Now he was out of school and it was time to support himself. He didn’t have a job upon graduation, so Patty and I decided to hire him into our company as our Media Director. He was employed by us for 17 months where we got to help him build good work habits. We instituted a monthly review process called “dones” where at the beginning of the month he would lay out what he would have done by the end of the month, which we would then review at the beginning of the next month. It was an outstanding process in that all three of us were aligned as to what he needed to do, and he was held accountable for getting things done. In July 2017 Trevor was hired by Northwest Center where he splits his time between facilities management and marketing. His marketing assignments have been fruitful, including being interviewed by two local TV news stations.

Today Trevor is 26. He lives on his own in a condo we purchased for him along with two other tenants on the autism spectrum. He pays rent, he manages his own money, he is as self sufficient as any 26-year-old. He’s still got some challenges that he’ll continue to have for the rest of his life. He’ll always need someone else to help coach him through situations. It was a lot of hard work on all our parts, but Patty and I are excited about his future and are grateful that we were in a position to help Trevor.