Hail to the Chiefs-United States President Mischief, Morals & Malarkey from George W. to George W.4/21/2013
John Adams - 2nd United States President (1797-1801)
Was very bright and had no patience for people who weren't bright enough to see things his way Abigail Adams was very charming and tactful, but was a flaming liberal who wanted to free the slaves, educate the children, declare war on France, and tax whiskey Won the presidency by only three electoral votes John, a Federalist, and his Vice President Thomas Jefferson, a Republican, rarely agreed on anything Thomas Jefferson - 3rd United States President (1801-1809) Had a thirty-five year affair with his slave Sally Hemings Spent most of his life building and un-building Monticello as if it was a set of Legos Was very fond of gardens and architecture and wrote Notes on the State of Virginia Invented the pedometer, the dumbwaiter, the lazy susan, and the swivel chair James Madison - 4th United States President (1809-1817) Was sometimes called "Little Jemmy" - he was five-foot-four and a hundred pounds Was introduced to Dolley by Aaron Burr after her first husband died Dolley didn't care about politics, she was the ultimate social director and threw marvelous parties Was anxious and shy while in the White House; but blossomed at his house in Montpelier that he called "a squirrel's jump from heaven" James Monroe - 5th United States President (1817-1825) Despite being an honest gentleman, was known as a deep, even an enthusiastic, drinker John Adams called him "dull, heavy, and stupid" He was both Secretary of State and Secretary of war under James Madison His administration was called the "Era of Good Feeling" because there was only one political party John Quincy Adams - 6th United States President (1825-1829) Was the only President to publish a book of poems Was called everything from "doggedly and systematically repulsive" to "an intellectual's intellectual" Only received thirty percent of the popular vote in a race with four candidates (including Andrew Jackson who got forty-three percent). None received a majority so decision went to the House of Representatives who ultimately decided on JQ as president, infuriating the Jacksonians He always got up before dawn, walked four or five miles, then took off his clothes and went for a swim in the Potomac. A lady reporter he had been dodging saw him in the Potomac and sat down on his clothes and wouldn't budge until he gave her an interview. Andrew Jackson - 7th United States President (1829-1837) Was six-foot-one, weighted 140 pounds, and fought in over one hundred duels Married wife Rachel though she wasn't yet divorced from her first husband, then had to marry again after the divorce was final Hated John Quincy Adams, threw out everything in the White House that reminded him of JQ, and fired everyone who voted for JQ His entire cabinet resigned, persuaded by Martin Van Buren, over the "Eaton Malaria" - Secretary of War John Eaton's wife Peggy was a tavern keeper's daughter and of questionable virtue Martin Van Buren - 8th United States President (1837-1841) Was called "The Little Magician" because everything he touched turned to gold, (or votes) Was later called "Petticoat Pet" because of his apathy over the depression. The Whigs, made up of assorted anti-Jacksonians, called him "Martin Van Ruin". He never vetoed a single bill or offered any opinions except Jackson's Was accused of living a very high lifestyle in the White House while the rest of the country suffered through a depression William Henry Harrison - 9th United States President (1841-1841) Was the hero of the Battle of Tippecanoe, where he killed numerous Indians Was sold as a barefoot boy from the backwoods born in a log cabin, but was really born in a serene and stately brick mansion far grander than the White House Caught a dreadful cold while standing out at his inauguration which eventually killed him Only served as President thirty-one days before his death John Tyler - 10th United States President (1841-1845) Was the first Vice President to take over from a President who died in office Had fifteen children; eight with is first wife, Letitia, and seven with his second, Julia Julia came up with the idea to play "Hail to the Chief" whenever Tyler walked into the room, which continues today Became a member of the Confederate Congress after his Presidency ended James K. Polk - 11th United States President (1845-1849) James and his wife Sarah were pious, didn't drink, didn't dance, didn't play cards, and didn't have children They worked twelve- or fourteen-hour days locked up together in their office, doing the work of most of his cabinet Texas, New Mexico, California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, and most of Colorado became part of the United States under his Presidency Died three months after leaving the White House Zachary Taylor - 12th United States President (1849-1850) He never voted for anything or anyone and thought politicians were pond scum He never went to school; his wife taught him to read and write Right before he died he stuffed himself with ice-cold milk, cherries, and pickled cucumbers, causing some to speculate the milk/pickles concoction contributed to his death Suspecting he might have been poisoned, he was exhumed recently and had his hair tested for poison; nothing unusual was found. Millard Fillmore - 13th United States President (1850-1853) His family was very poor and he was indentured to a wool-carder and cloth-dresser; he didn't get his freedom until he was nineteen years old Went to school after getting his freedom then later married his first teacher Was instrumental in opening up free trade, particularly with Japan Was rejected by his own party, the Whigs, in 1852 and ran again on the Know-Nothing ticket in 1856. He carried only Maryland. Franklin Pierce - 14th United States President (1853-1857) Wife Jane was dismal; a religious fanatic who complained about her nerves, hated politics, and hated Washington First two children died in infancy, third child Benjamin was killed in a train accident; Jane said God took Benjamin on purpose so he wouldn't distract Franklin from his Presidential duties Was the first President to have a Christmas tree in the White House During his Presidency, was arrested for running over an old woman with his horse James Buchanan - 15th United States President (1857-1861) Had more enemies than a dog has fleas Viewed by many to be the worst President ever Wanted to buy Cuba, but Congress wouldn't let him Did his best to do as little as possible despite the secession of South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas with Jeff Davis leaving the Senate to become President of the new country. Abraham Lincoln - 16th United States President (1861-1865) Was six-foot-four, his pants were too short making his feet look even bigger, and carried a floppy black umbrella that wouldn't stay closed Sometimes got so depressed that he was afraid to carry a pocketknife Mary Todd was one of the first shopaholics; she shopped till she dropped to battle depression brought on by the death of her son Willie The Lincoln-Douglas Debates were over the running for a senate seat, not the Presidency Andrew Johnson - 17th United States President (1865-1869) Was indentured at age twelve to a tailor; he hated being indentured and ran away Made all his own clothes to be sure they were made properly Congress created the Tenure of Office Act, saying the President couldn't do anything without Senate approval under Johnson's term Was acquitted of impeachment by just one vote Ulysses S. Grant - 18th United States President (1869-1877) When Grant went to West Point a clerical error changed his name from Hiram Ulysses to Ulysses S. He was glad because his original monogram (H.U.G) embarrassed him. Originally wanted to be the Mayor of Galena, Illinois so he could have the sidewalks fixed between his house and the depot Grant was a poor money manager and later in life got swindled out of every cent he owned Grant died four days after finishing his memoirs. Mark Twain published them. Rutherford B. Hayes - 19th United States President (1877-1881) Mrs. Hayes was referred to as "Lemonade Lucy" because they didn't serve anything fun to drink; Washington Wags said at her parties the water flowed like wine She started the custom of Easter Monday egg-rolling on the south lawn of the White House He had such long gray whiskers that they dipped in his suit unless he drew them to one side like a curtain His most decisive actions in the White House included laying out a croquet lawn and installing a telephone James Garfield - 20th United States President (1881-1881) Was first left-handed President and could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other at the same time Was nominated at the Republican convention even though he wasn't running Was shot by Charles Guiteau in the back; Charles wanted to be the American consul in Paris and wasn't chosen by Garfield. Doctors for days tried to get the bullet out and even allowed Alexander Graham Bell to use a special contraption with a coil that would hum when near the bullet. Garfield died ten days later. Chester A. Arthur - 21st United States President (1881-1885) Considered a political bottom-feeder and the contented tool of Senator Roscoe Conkling Turned into an acceptable and honest President His New York tailor had to hire extra help to keep up with Arthur's insatiable desire for fine clothing Supported the Pendleton Act of 1883, which enabled people to take civil service exams for many government jobs and keep them regardless of who was elected, freeing up Presidents to do something besides appoint postmasters Grover Cleveland - 22nd United States President (1885-1889), 24th United States President (1893-1897) Fathered a child whose mother was an alcoholic prostitute named Marie Halpin Forty-nine year old Grover Cleveland married twenty-one year old Frances Folsom, the daughter of Grover's late law partner After first administration went back to corporate law and made a fortune on Wall Street Was only President to serve two disconnected terms and count as two Presidents Benjamin Harrison - 23rd United States President (1889-1893) Was the grandson of William Henry Harrison Bribed voters in New York and Indiana to win election even though Grover Cleveland got one hundred thousand more votes Harrison's most decisive action was having the White House wired for electricity Was the first president to watch a professional baseball game; Cincinnati beat Washington 7-4 William McKinley - 25th United States President (1897-1901) Was walked on because he was too nice Didn't want the Spanish-American War but was forced into it by Congress; as result United States received Guam, The Philippines, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico Was shot at close range at the Pan American Exposition in Buffalo in 1901 by an anarchist named Czolgosz Doctors spent a week excavating McKinley in search of the bullet, after which he died Theodore Roosevelt - 26th United States President (1901-1909) Was a pioneer fitness addict and loved loved boxing, wrestling, tennis, and fencing among other things Was behind the Republic of Panama's independence and the creation of the Panama Canal Created the National Park with the calling of a Conservation Conference in Washington Won a Nobel Peace Prize for helping with the Russo-Japanese peace negotiations William Howard Taft - 27th United States President (1909-1913) Was the world's heaviest President; when he sat at his desk he could hardly reach it Didn't want to be President and said that politics made him sick; wanted to be a Supreme Court justice Wife Nellie bought a cow to graze on the White House lawn and sent for three thousand cherry trees from Japan planting them in strategic spots Taft was dull and boring and people were immediately tired of him Woodrow Wilson - 28th United States President (1913-1921) When first wife died, he sat by her body for days, wringing his hands. Shortly after his first wife's death, he met and fell in love with Edith Galt and married her soon afterward. Was a professor, president of Princeton, and governor of New Jersey Edith Wilson bought a flock of sheep to graze on the White House lawn, then sold the wool and donated the proceeds to the Red Cross He had such terrible nervous indigestion that he'd bought his own stomach pump and carried it with him wherever he went Warren G. Harding - 29th United States President (1921-1923) Was installed as senator to Ohio by powerful Harry Daugherty to be his "puppet" because he looked presidential His wife Florence was the brains in the operation; she kept close watch on him to ensure he didn't say something stupid and rewrote his speeches for him Scandals abounded in his administration because of the "friends" he appointed to high positions He died while he and Florence were on a long train trip across the country. Florence wouldn't let anyone autopsy the body, fueling some unfounded speculation that she may have poisoned him Calvin Coolidge - 30th United States President (1923-1929) After Harding died, was sworn into office by his father on his farm in Vermont His wife Grace was a charming lady who carried a pet raccoon named Rebecca around with her At one of the congressional breakfasts Cal poured some coffee into his saucer and added a splash of milk. Several guests respectfully did the same. He then put the saucer down on the floor for his dog. Loved to eat boiled wheat-and-rye in bed while people rubbed Vaseline into his hair Herbert Hoover - 31st United States President (1929-1933) Was a Quaker, always worked hard, and kept his files tidy Was orphaned at the age of nine and schoolchildren were told that he picked potato bugs of the potato plants for a penny a hundred The Hoovers were paranoid about their privacy; they stopped the long-standing custom of the New Year's open house and wouldn't tell reports what they were doing Made "The Star Spangled Banner" our national anthem Franklin Delano Roosevelt - 32nd United States President (1933-1945) Diagnosed with Polio in 1921 at age thirty-nine Had a wandering eye and had affairs with several women while married to Eleanor Eleanor was referred to as "Public Energy Number One" because she was so busy Instituted Social Security, deeply disturbing conservatives because "people will quit their jobs at once and just sit around waiting to be sixty-five to collect" Harry S Truman - 33rd United States President (1945-1953) Became President after only eighty-three days as Vice President As a child, wanted to be a professional musician when he grew up Had to move across the street to the Blair House because the White House was collapsing due to a heavy third floor added in 1927 No one expected Truman to win the 1948 election, except Truman himself. He got the ultimate last laugh when the Chicago Tribune held up a "Dewey Elected" newspaper. Dwight David Eisenhower - 34th United States President (1953-1961) Considered the Presidency a well-deserved retirement; was fond of golf, bridge, and canasta Mamie painted the interior of the White House pink, rarely got up before noon, and could pitch a fit if things weren't done just right He set up America's interstate highway system Was very popular and could have served a third term, but the twenty-second amendment passed in 1951 prevented Ike from serving past two terms John Fitzgerald Kennedy - 35th United States President (1961-1963) Was known by some friends as "Jack the Zipper" Grew up in the shadow of his older brother Joe Jr. Instituted the Peace Corps Daughter Caroline called him Silly Daddy; son John called him Foo-Foo Head; Jackie called him Bunny Lyndon Baines Johnson - 36th United States President (1963-1969) Was the only President ever sworn in on an airplane in Texas Started the Department of Transportation and Housing and Urban Development It took his parents three months to come up with his name, and his wife and daughters were called Lady Bird, Lynda Bird, and Luci Baines so they all could have LBJ initials As President, he handed out ten-gallon hats to visitors Richard Milhous Nixon - 37th United States President (1969-1974) As a debater in grammar school his main theme was why he hated girls Lost bid for Presidency in 1960 to Kennedy, then went home to California and lost bid for Governor before winning Presidency against Hubert Humphrey in 1968 In 1972, Nixon's people formed a committee called CREEP - Committee to Re-Elect thE President; an unfortunate acronym <g> Recorded virtually every word he said, which proved to be his ultimate downfall with Watergate Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. - 38th United States President (1974-1977) Was not elected to either the Vice Presidency or Presidency; was chosen by Nixon and then replaced him after he resigned from office Lyndon Johnson called him "the only man I ever knew who can't fart and chew gum at the same time" His birth name was Leslie Lynch King Jr. after his father, then after his mother divorced his father was renamed after his mother's new husband Had millions of round buttons with "W.I.N" (Whip Inflation Now) made up and he promised that if people wore them every time they went in public prices would stop going up Jimmy Carter - 39th United States President (1977-1981) Jogged in black socks When his father died he left him a peanut farm to manage Did nothing to free the hostages in Iran, who were held for four hundred and forty four days Lost thirty pounds while in the White House from worrying and working late Ronald Reagan - 40th United States President (1981-1989) Was known as The Great Communicator Started out as a New Deal Democrat and changed to Republican after the Red scare hit Hollywood Was shot by John Hinckley; in the hospital he quoted Jack Dempsey saying, "Honey, I forgot to duck" When the Professional Air Traffic Controllers said their jobs were making them crazy and went on strike, Reagan outlawed their union, fired them all, and replaced them with inexperienced controllers George Herbert Walker Bush - 41st United States President (1989-1993) In World War II flew fifty-eight combat missions as a bomber pilot and won the Distinguished Flying Cross for bravery in action His family and oldest friends called him "Poppy" Threw up on the Japanese Prime Minister at an official dinner Became the anti-nutrition President after he declared that he hated broccoli William Jefferson Clinton - 42nd United States President (1993-2001) The press called him "Bubba" In June 2000 he became the first American President to receive the revered Charlemagne Peace Prize in Europe and get proclaimed an honorary European Was impeached by the House, but was voted down by the Senate At the end of his term, pardoned some real scum including Marc Rich, a stock swindler who'd left the country to avoid paying taxes. Coincidentally <g>, his ex-wife donated money to the Clinton library. George W. Bush - 43rd United States President (2001-2009) Was known in college and afterward as an "obnoxious drunk" and was arrested for drunk driving before finding God at age 40 Wife Laura was an elementary school teacher and librarian Was an exercise fanatic, running six days a week and taking a treadmill on Air Force One Popularly known as a Texan, was actually raised in Connecticut and didn't move to Texas until well after college Barack Obama - 44th United States President (2009-) He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn't His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
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